Exercise 4: Melody (Sam Alper)

Australian for.
By Sam Alper
Music Assignment #3

Note: The melodic line is influenced by a pop sensibility. The emphasis is on simplicity, familiar chords (in this case, human interactions and current events), and repetition of a phrase that is looked forward to. The success is debatable, but these were the intentions.

[A bar in Australia. Two young Americans sitting at a booth, Alexis and John. Both very attractive, dressed well. Look like they’re sixteen or seventeen. The bartender comes over and sets down two Fosters.]

BARTENDER
Fosters, Australian for Beer.

[Alexis and John laugh.]

BARTENDER
How old are you two again?

JOHN
Twenty eight.

[Bartender laughs.]

BARTENDER
Together? Sorry, have a nice date kids.

[Bartender walks away.]

ALEXIS
Oh, this isn’t a date, right?

JOHN
Right. No way. We’re just chilling.

ALEXIS
Yeah, chillaxing.

JOHN
I need some time away from that tour group. I don’t think there’s one person here with us I like except you.

ALEXIS
Same. Rufus is such a creeper.

JOHN
Yeah.

ALEXIS
He tried to grab my boobs.

JOHN
What? How?

ALEXIS
He was leaning over me on the bus and he grabbed my boob and I was like “what the hell Rufus?” and he was like “I’m just getting my digital camera”.

JOHN
Nuts to that guy. Nuts all over that guy.

ALEXIS
I know. Where were you that day? I would have come and sat next to you.

JOHN
Oh, I got lost, actually, and missed the bus.

ALEXIS
Wow, was that scary?

JOHN
It was fine.

[Pause. They sip the beer.]

JOHN
“Fosters, Australian for beer.”

[They laugh.]

ALEXIS
Ok, I’ve got a question.

JOHN
What kind of question?

ALEXIS
A personal question. If that’s ok.

JOHN
That’s ok.

ALEXIS
Do you think I’m cute?

JOHN
I’m not going to answer that.

ALEXIS
Come on.

JOHN
Do you think I’m cute?

ALEXIS
Yes.

JOHN
Well, ok, I think you’re cute.

[Bartender comes over.]

BARTENDER
Excuse me you two, you know with the fires… We might be closing early today. I’ll tell you.

ALEXIS
Ok.

JOHN
What fires?

ALEXIS
Oh the fires you know, the huge wildfires. They’ve been all over the news.

JOHN
Oh, right, the fires. Those are awful.

ALEXIS
Supposedly all this amazing forest has been burned down. The plan was to go and visit it but the day before we were supposed to go the fires started. It’s really tragic.

JOHN
Yeah. Tragedy is… yeah.

[Pause. They drink.]

JOHN
“Fosters, Australian for beer.”

[They laugh.]

ALEXIS
So, ok, personal questions.

JOHN
Personal questions.

ALEXIS
How many girls have you made out with in your life?

JOHN
Seven.

ALEXIS
No counting. Wow.

JOHN
Yeah… ummm…I… Well actually I’ve never really made out with a girl.

ALEXIS
Really?

JOHN
Yeah, you know how people can be… ummm… kinky. I think I’m kinky.

ALEXIS
What do you mean?

JOHN
Well, like things that other people don’t think are sexy are sexy to me. Sorry, I know that seems weird.

ALEXIS
No, I think that’s kind of cool. You’re different.

JOHN
Yeah.

[Bartender gets a phone call. He answers it and starts talking really fast, loud, urgently. It’s clear that it’s a personal emergency.]

JOHN
How many boys have you made out with?

ALEXIS
Ummm…that depends.

JOHN
On what?

ALEXIS
On what happens today.

[Alexis takes Johns hand in hers. Bartender throws on a jacket and runs out the door.]

JOHN
Where’d he go?

ALEXIS
I don’t know, does it have something to do with the fires, do you think?

JOHN
I guess. He just left us alone in the bar?

ALEXIS
Yeah. We should probably go.

[They don’t get up.]

JOHN
We should watch the bar for him. That’s what we should do.

ALEXIS
Yeah. I hope his house and family are ok, he was nice, that Fosters joke…. It’s so sad. I heard somebody started the fires, like it was an arson.

JOHN
Really? I’m pretty sure they were an accident.

ALEXIS
How do you know?

JOHN
That’s just what I’ve heard.

ALEXIS
Well they’re saying now it looks like arson.

JOHN
Oh. That’s just not what I heard.

ALEXIS
Oh. Well, whatever.

JOHN
Yeah. I can’t believe he left us all alone in the bar.

[Pause. They sip the beer.]

JOHN
“Fosters, Australian for beer.”

[They laugh. Pause. Alexis leans in and kisses John.]
[John pulls away.]

ALEXIS
What’s wrong?

JOHN
Nothing. I had so much beer. Doesn’t it make your stomach feel full? Makes me feel like I’ve gotta pee. Don’t you feel like you’ve got to pee?

ALEXIS
Ummm, yeah, I guess.

JOHN
You can go first if you want. They’ve only got one bathroom.

ALEXIS
Ok. Thanks. You’re so gentlemanly.

JOHN
Yeah, well, ladies first.

[Alexis exits to the bathroom.]
[John stands up, walks over to the bar and starts smashing full liquor bottles everywhere, all over the bar and the tables. Then he takes a pack of matches out of his back pocket, lights one, looks at it for a while, then throws it on the bar. The flames spread quickly. Then the sprinklers come on, putting the fire out and flooding the bar. John stands, in the middle of the bar, wet, exhilarated.]
[Alexis comes back.]

ALEXIS
What happened?

JOHN
The sprinklers just started going.

ALEXIS
Oh my god.

[John kisses Alexis. Pulls back, looks in her eyes.]

JOHN
Can I ask you a question?

ALEXIS
What kind of question?

JOHN
Don’t you think fire’s kind of sexy?

The end.